Set Free to be who God created me to be…

Ephesians 3:20 (The Message)
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
How thankful I am that the above verse is so incredibly true! Though I know this verse and firmly believe that God is my provider and have seen Him absolutely blow my mind with His goodness, I am quick to forget when the darkness and despair come threatening to steal my Joy and to overcome the Light with darkness.

For the past few months I have been going to Mosaic Church on Wednesday evenings for Bible Study and to Worship/Sing/Practice with their Worship team. When I first felt the Lord calling me to go I was terrified and I kid you not; caused grip marks on my own arms from crossing them so tightly trying to stop my trembling hands. The fear was not caused by “stage fright” but “Combating Lies” face first. Words are powerful and I had listened to the words spoken over me, “That I had been skipped in my family when it came to musical talent…” My family is known for being top notch musically gifted. I longed to join them and tried a few times and then… well never tried again, believing the lie 100% that I was a lost cause.

At age 12 I fell in love with sign language and working in Deaf Community. I began studying on my own and would memorize the sign language dictionaries page by page.  I decided then that I wanted to be a teacher of the Deaf when I grew up. A few years later around age 14 my dream almost died. An Interpreter informed my mom that she should go ahead and let me know that it would be impossible for me to fulfill my dream b/c of a learning disability that I had. My mom, in love told me that I should try to pursues something else. And as many times as I tried I never felt as alive as I did when I was signing. So I secretly fanned the flame, and asked God to please help me overcome and see the fulfillment of this dream.

Today I was reminded of the goodness of my Lord and that He is in charge not man.

I visited Mosaic for Sunday Worship for the first time today and sang with their worship team. I was extremely nervous before hand! But after the first song and had sat down I felt God’s anointing and that He was pleased in my obedience. I don’t think I sound fantastic, but I also do not believe I have been “skipped”  and that the Lord has given me a voice to praise him with. It was a joy to sing with the team and to just be me and not feel the fear that I was “supposed” to be a certain way.

After the Sermon we lead one last song “Grace Like Rain”. The Worship Pastor had asked me if I would sign it. Signing is a form of worship for me and I felt such peace as I stood apart and signed to my Creator.

As I was driving home I could help but thank the Lord for where He has brought me. That He raised me up and saw me to completion of my degree in Deaf Ed. That He showed Himself glorious by using the exact thing the world said would hold me back to lead me to the front of my class. He has taken my brokenness and has taken my story and is redeeming it line by line. I am thankful to be a living witness that He indeed, “…can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”