It’s Not So Easy…

I’m moving back to G-wood tomorrow. Living in an apartment attached to another family’s home that has lived in Glenwood for years. Today as I was packing my boxes, I thought back to 5 years ago when I first moved to G-wood…

I was a college senior on an adventure. I had plans; I thought I knew what the next few years held, I thought G-wood was a year detour on my way to full time work in India. Honestly I knew nothing, the only thing that held fast and true was that God had called and that He was and always will be my provider and friend.

I remember laughing with two friends as I moved the first time. We fit all of my things and twin mattress in two cars and moved in less than an hour. The first week I was there, my roommate and I got snowed in! I was student teaching so I was out of work for over a week and spent my time meeting the kids on my street, dancing, and keeping us fed on cheese crackers and hot chocolate. It was that first week that I had my introduction to the vicious cycle of drugs that cripple many here in G-wood. It was that week of being snowed in that I came to realize that I was a student in this new culture and that my neighbors had tons to teach me.

Over the next few years trust began to be built between my roommates and I and between us and our neighbors. I slowly was no longer the “new white girl” but Ms. Suzanne. I was family, I was a friend not only an “acquaintance” or “associate”. The years in G-wood were in no way “perfect” or even a remotely easy road, but I wouldn’t trade them. I love my friends there. I loved living in the neighborhood. Leaving G-wood was one of the hardest parts of going away to MERCY.

I’m moving back to G-wood tomorrow…and it’s not so easy. Sitting on the porch talking to “D” before she left for the Dominican Republic we were able to see the reasons. It’s different this time. I’ve been hurt, and sometimes I still get scared; even though I do believe that I am healed and God has touched me in a miraculous way. It is not that I am not free from the past, it means that I am aware of things that I need. It doesn’t mean I am weak to admit when I am feeling uncomfortable or unsafe.

I know that God’s hand is on my life. I believe that this is all in His perfect timing. I’m trusting Him, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard.

Guess I felt it was a little safer to bog about all this. Because I want to ask for prayer, I want to admit my fears… But it’s not my first time moving in, I’m returning after a year and half. But still, it’s not so easy....