My heart is fighting a battle; a battle that it has fought many times before.

You see I love being overseas, and I miss India terribly. And I am excited beyond many people’s comprehension about going to Nicaragua and being able to lead a children’s ministry team in March. But there is part of my heart that is here in Greensboro in Glenwood. I work with the youth here in Glenwood and esp. the teenage girls. It seems that God just cont. to make more and more room in my heart. My human love ran out a LONG TIME AGO, but that is what makes this so beautiful is that Jesus cont. to fill me up with His love and invites me to be a vessel to show His love to others.


So the battle lies here… I have come back to Greensboro and I see the kids faces at tutoring, I hear on van rides the stories about a boy in middle school that has a baby on the way. I hear the girls cont. to cut each other down and talk about how much they want to “teach someone a lesson”… and then I see a young girl climb in the van with a hurt look in her eyes, I see two boys get face to face in an argument yet inside they are dyeing to be told that they are good, that they are loveable, that they are worth it, and have what it takes to be a man. And I think to myself these are the “invisible” orphans of Greensboro of Glenwood. How many times society wishes them away or just turns a deaf ear. And it makes my heart break…it breaks the same way it did in India when I was working in the orphanage. Because these children have the same common denominator- (They want to love and be loved…and they don’t know how or have lost all hope that it is possible for “them”).

What am I battling? I am battling the feelings of being “invisible” too now that I am back in the States. I am battling wanting to talk to people about India and find support for the orphans, while in the same conversations I want to talk about Glenwood. Battling the feelings that I have to choose one over the other…even though God has made it clear that both India and Glenwood are to be in my heart at the same time…it is just hard to talk about and it make sense. (Of course I don’t really know b/c this is my first attempt. )